Don’t take my screws! I did not take your screws! This is trash! I’m missing three screws and it was in a plastic! It was! [awkward laughs] You’re right. What the… [speechless sigh] Hi guys! Welcome to another episode of, Guide The Goondu! I’m Annette, and I’m Pam. And this is the
show where I solve all of Pam’s life problems cause she have so many… So what’s your problem today Pam? I recently went to
buy my first furniture, because you know like, I’m a working adult now. So I can’t buy a house, but I can buy a furniture though. So I bought my first
furniture from IKEA and… [Debate of IKEA pronnounciation] So I went to buy my first furniture right, and I thought they were going to assemble it for me. You see this isn’t a problem, this was just miscomunnication. I really thought they were going to fix it for me, but they just left it at my house. They were like “Okay” and I’m like “Okay?” they were like “Ya okay.” and they just left. So you just assumed that your furniture will just come fully fix together? Okay, I don’ think is assumed, that’s a really harsh word. The word is “I thought”. Everybody knows that you have to fix IKEA furniture on your own. No? I think you know that if
you buy furniture from there, but normally I don’t buy it myself. My mother will get it instead. So I’m gonna be teaching Pam how to fix her furniture together. Cause I feel I’m a pretty good… builder. But… I got As all the time for DNT last time. Every single DNT project I got “A” Okay, that’s quite impressive. So are you ready to get started? I mean… I can’t really trust you… I’ve never see you fix anything before. I fixed so many things! Like what? My life… I fix… my broken life together. I don’t think so. [Pam sighing] See!
I’m doing all the hard work. Annette. At this rate I’m going to be a body builder. Do you want me to help her? See! He said no. Director said no. So the first thing to remember
when you’re building things, is safety. Safety always come first. Protection! Always… use protection. Not neccessary though. So safety is very important. For you instance right, I feel you’re… you’re not even dressed correctly. This is a no-no! Why got hole? Stop touching my feet! Am I building things with my toes? No right? But what if you step on a splinter? Ignoring the feet! This is a no-no. Can see a bit of my knee hair. [awkward silence] Continue… Erm,
not to worry… Because I knew that you’re going to screw up from the beginning. Screw up, we’re going to be screwing up the table. Okay,
so I brought you some safety gear. So here we have… I feel like… Ya,
you need it for your knee more than… your head.
(Well) I feel safe already. Oh my tight was… I’m sure your skull is thick enough. Anyway, there’s nothing inside so don’t need to protect much. Ouch So now that safety is out of the way, [knock knock] See. BAAM! Haha You didn’t even touch my head. Because if I did you would’ve been injured. I’m practicing safety. Please okay, I use my face to earn money okay. So the very first thing you need to do when you start building your furniture is to look at the manual. The map. The manual. The map. It’s not a freaking map. It’s a map! It tells you where to go, to put the things together. Okay, I think the manual is in here. Seriously IKEA, why did you do this? Why did you hide the manual? See! I found it! I found it first, and you’re the one who’s teaching me today. Is this it? Yes! Exactly, so I found it. I FOUND IT FIRST! I POINTED IT OUT FIRST I FOUND IT FIRST! OH MY GOD WHEN YOU GUYS SEE THE TAKE. I swear this happen in every freaking episode. See I open it first. HA! A HA! I see it. Wait, They have 4 exact same manual in each of the chair leg?! WHY?! What happen if you’re not working in a team?! If you’re not working in a team or assembling it separately, then you all need a manual! BUT WHY YOU WASTE PAPER LIKE THIS?! WHY THEY PRINT IT FOUR TIMES?! They could just print it once. Because that is their “ideals” (ADILS) [proud laughters] HA! Ideals (ADILS)…. Now let’s try to decipher. Okay, which language you want to read from? There’s English, “Douche” Netherlands…
(“Douche”?) [Point] “Douche” Dutch… When you’re deciphering manual, they can be a little bit complicated. So the key is to just take time and try to understand it. Okay… So this guy goes… “Okay! screwing…” And he’s like no… Did he just put his… kukubird inside? IT LOOKS LIKE IT!
(NO HE DID NOT!) Oh I know what its trying to say! Cause you know, as with here, it says don’t do it on a random ground. Because it’ll be too hard. Do it on a carpet. See there’s a carpet. So we got it right! Yay!! And then the other one… If you’re unsure of anything, call IKEA. And they’ll help you fix right? And they’ll give you instructions on how to fix it because they’re not going to help you fix it! Not all of us are carpenters okay, IKEA! Now on the back, is the… instructions on how you can fix the table. You just basically screw everything. Screw… Actually you know what? Screw the manual. So this manual is completely useless. YOU’RE JUST WASTING PAPER! Then now I need to rely on you?! How is it my fault?! IKEA IS THE ONE
(It’s okay!) WHO PRINTED
(It’s okay!) 4 DIFFERENT PAPERS
(GUESS WHAT!) GUESS WHAT! But I’m the one wasting paper. We have… Woah. 2 MORE! Why you tear it then? Now I need to open another one to give you. No? I can just read off this. Why must you read off mine? I DON’T WANT TO SHARE! I’m using my nail… to pull over the plastic which is something Annette can’t do. Wait you use your nail?! What if you scratch the table? I won’t! Because I’m careful. Remember? I don’t screw up. Oh… Okay now we can see the holes that we’re suppose to… put the screws in. Here are the tools that we’re going to need. This are erm… allen keys. Aww the small one… What the heck, the small allen key is so cute. [Di di di di di] What can you fix with this? This is the allen keys, but we don’t need it. And this, this is a screw driver. We want the one that has the… the cross one.. So this is a screw driver… I can tell… Moving on! So we have all these other things as well… Just your average toolbox. This looks very kinky. And then now we have this. This is a pair of pliers IT’S NOT PLIERS… Today episode of Dumb
(It’s not a pliers) Dumb and dumber. I think this is a… it’s like a grass cutter is it? Why did you guys put her on this show again?
(You know what? It doesn’t even matter!) Okay… Because we’re not even using this anyway. THAT’S WHAT I SAID! So put it aside! YA
BUT I’M JUST EDUCATING YOU THE ITEMS IN TOOLBOX! YOU CAN’T EDUCATE ME ON SOMETHING YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW! I know okay… What is this called? It’s a grass cutter. All the gardeners out there are going to look at this and will be like “WHAT is she talking about?!” Okay, now that we have gone through all the different items in the toolbox. We select what we need in order to assemble this table together. I think we only kind of need like… erm
the screw driver. What’s the difference between this and that? This is… Oh, this is not a screw driver. This is a drill… Ya,
so now let’s start screwing this. You see!
I did the right thing! Why you scold me? I did the right thing! I got scolded just now because I screwed this inside, and they were like “Pam! Don’t act smart!” “Don’t screw it wrongly!” I want to use the electric drill, but I’m scared. There’s nothing to be scared. I’m here to protect you with my helmet. So… erm… Just now I thought that we could just use the screw driver but I think it’s going to take 10 years so we’re going to go ahead with the drill. Okay I think… I think this is what you do. Screw driver… Why will you put it that way?! This way
this way this way. I’m in pain right now. I legit don’t know how to do this. Sorry can we just cut? Hold the top part. the black part. Yup, here. So you can twist this. So you can see on the inside, there are 3 draws… that will close inwards. Oooh! So, you’re suppose to put it in and then tighten it after that. Pam be careful! There is a centering chuck so the drill will always be centred. Just keep tightening it. Okay… Now let go and press the button. Oh my God, so fun! Erm… The cameraman totally did not just teach me how to do this. Now… I’ll be teaching you how to screw this. Wow, I’m scared. This is the easy part I assume, Wait… Sorry, let me just try first. So Pam… You see, the thing was that The screw wasn’t like straight in just now, Wow, an expert. So… We’re going to try it again. And this time, we going to make sure that it goes all the way in. I think you need to press the button, the other side. Cause it’s… Don’t touch my… Oh silly me, I forgot to reverse it back into the one that’s screwing in. Oh silly you… So now we revert back the drilling mode Ta-da~ Yay~ So… What you do usually right, is that after you finished one nail… one screw in like this, you try to do another one
that’s on the opposite side. So that it’ll balances out. Okay… So ya! Now you try on your side! Put your hand behind here and press your weight on it. So I said this is stuck, you need to take out! Huh… So I need to do the whole reverse of the screw… Okay, can can can can. So how I feel after using the drill guys, I feel like I’m a nature. It just sounds like Annette is cutting grass. It was quite easy for me, Can’t say… Can’t say the same about others. You also had a lot of moments like this okay! Once or twice only! Yours is like, everything like, [mimicking grass cutter sfx] Okay, let me talk y’all the truth actually this is also the first time I using this. Now that you’ve screwed the five screws onto the table top, We’re just going to be screwing the table legs, into that one big hole in the middle. Okay… so you just twist it basically. Now we’ll do the same thing for the other two sides. Okay. Oh my God, I’m such a pro. Haha! Stuck! Like this will do. If she was an architect and she build houses… I’ll just migrate. Pam, have you heard of the 80-20 rule? What? In life you don’t need to be perfect. Okay? You just need to get, get 80% there. You have one screw that’s out of whack, it’s okay! And now, we’re done with our table and now let’s flip it up, Oh my God, it’s shaky!! Oh maybe that’s why the bottom is supposed to be like, adjustable so you can make it like… So you see, I already balanced it out. And now we got our table! YAY! So now we’ve done with the table, we going to be moving on with the chair. Pam are you ready? Yes! Since Pam has learnt so much from me, she’ll be taking the lead for the chair. And I’ll just… try to watch. You’re making me very uncomfortable. You just… touch my butt for support…
(That’s what you do every single day) YOU JUST TOUCH MY BUTT FOR SUPPORT! So while Pam is building her chair, I’ll be here, erm… giving her encouragement through this speaker. Are you ready Pam? I’m like a motivational coach. I’m like a personal trainer but- Can you tell… I feel so unmotivated. Okay so, I just read the “SNILLE” book, I’ve flipped it through. And this one we need allen keys… which is something Annette didn’t teach me and now I just have to figure it out myself. I taught you the allen keys okay! What the heck, the small one is so cute! [Di di di di] What can you do fix with this? I feel this is like unboxing video but adult style. Like… What’s PR kits right? What’s like make-ups? We’re fixing chairs now! Step one is to… WHAT the heck is this? Ah! Is to put all these foreign objects into the small thing. By the way, my birthday is coming. You better get me a good present. I’m giving you… the gift of education. with this already Pam. In every freaking episode. It’s like your birthday every other week already. then I wish I was never born. Okay, thanks for being a sweetheart. Annette, sweet Annette. I need your help, because we need the ALLEN KEY. To put the screws in, into this little fan. Won’t they provide the allen key? Oh ya, they do. Ha HA! I was just testing her… I should be teaching her how to do the… …the chair! I know so much more about this. So Pam, erm… like… Did you study physic last time? Yes? See, correct now. You use the allen key wrongly. but it’s correct now. Because I told you that there’s another way to use the allen key and there’s literally one other way. Like you said, we can’t be 100, we must be 80 sometimes. Then we absorb and become 100. Let me just unbox this for you. Thanks. Erm, I think I’m doing quite well… Everything’s tight. Okay Pam, What? Now I’m going to be clearing all the trash. And when I’m back, I expect this entire thing to be done. She took one hour to do the table, and she dares to like… tell me that I have a deadline. Precisely! We do not have a deadline- STOP USING THE LOUD HAILER! I’M RIGHT NEXT TO YOU! Don’t take my screws! I did not take your screws! This is trash! I’m missing three screws and it was in a plastic! It was! [awkward laughs] You’re right. What the… [speechless sigh] Carpenters or like furniture people they rather be alone because like sometimes, if their partners throw the screws away… The furniture is not going to be done! Okay! Done with step two, now step three is to put in the wheels! Actually it’s quite fast. Gotta spin it in. I feel like Annette right now. Okay, done! This is the only time I can talk behind Annette. Oh no, she’s back. I heard you talking about me! SHUT UP! Now, I’m going to the toilet. When I’m back, I expect all the wheels… WHY YOU GET ALL THE BREAKS?! I ALSO WANT TO GO TOILET!
(I expect all the wheels) to be fitted in. Okay, done. Put this like this. Huh?! That’s all? What? The instruction ends here lol. Oh, it continues… Okay now… is this part… Then you put this…. Wait, wait, wait, wait, What?! Oh is the other way. Thank God Annette isn’t here. Okay… And then… There supposed to be a click. Where? Does it works without click? At most the person sit just fall off the chair right? Haha It’s probably not me. Oh wait, it’s my chair lol. WHY IS THERE SUPPOSE TO BE A CLICK?! Or you can use your body weight to put it in? It’s literally… Try sit on it? It supposed to have a click. I think… This one is tough. We’re doing it wrong. Pull it out first. It takes 3 of the… strongest man in… sgag to fix it. IKEA… This doesn’t make sense… IKEA what are you doing? Okay, I think I shouldn’t do it. I scared I’ll hit his thumb. Okay so… I’m done with this, I’m moving on to the last part. The last part is to just put it all together. And… there we have it! Oh my God Pam! You build the entire chair all by yourself! Oh my God, so proud of you! Yes! Thanks to me! I built it all by myself! All I did was, finish this chair real quick, and came here to chill. So you finished way long ago? Ya, ya, way long ago! What can I say? You’re a great teacher. Great guide! You’re a great teacher. I’m such a great guide! Wait,
let me just try this chair, just to prove like… To see… I can push you! Let me just see how well you fix this. Okay ready to spin. See! Before we end, I just want to give a shout out to IKEA! Come, let’s share the chair. Let’s see if it’ll take both our weight. If it doesn’t, is because you matter a lot. Just remember that. You matter more! No you matter more… Aww you matter more… IKEA! Your instruction need to fix a little bit, Don’t… Don’t lie to your… consumers and tell them that erm it’s just a simple click, when it’s not a simple click when you need hammer and… Oh, there supposed to be a click. It’s literally… Anyway! You’ll find out when you watch the final cut… I think there’re some surprises inside for you… A lot of obstacles? Not really obstacles, it was quite smooth sailing. Just maybe erm… we needed the bane of SGAG to come in and… help. So I think the important thing is that even though you have obstacles, you know, you can always overcome them. Alright! And we have come to the end of the episode. Let us know if you think
I was a good guide, or Pam was a goondu… And erm… If you like this video, don’t forget
to like and subscribe and leave your comments down below on what you’ll like to see me learn from Annette. Because I’m just a wealth of knowledge. And because I’m a great… Goondu. Shit! I just walked right into that one! Ha! And follow us on Instagram as well, at @nubbadtv. And we’ll see you the next time! On the next episode of… Guide The Goondu! Byeeeeeee~ Shit!
I’m… Dude, I’m really falling. Wait! Actually how are you going
to bring back the furniture? (Lower headphone volume in…) (3…) (2…) ANNETTE!!!!! Why are you shouting? It’s not my fault! NOW WE NEED TO DISMANTLE IT! IF NOT HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO BRING IT BACK?! (RIP EARS)